My Soul is Like A Wild Hawk (2002)
It's probably not an injury, or something else, it's quite possible.
I will tell a small story from my childhood, a story that surprised and saddened me very much, I will also mention the story that did not happen to me but which disgusted me ...
This story is about Russia, about what happens there sometimes or very often. By my roots, I am not Russian, if it is interesting to someone, I am a little from a different world and was born in another country.
I kept it to myself for a very long time and I really wanted to tell these few stories.
Once, children from an orphanage belonging to the church came to our canteen (I was studying at the institute then). Probably, she repeated this to herself very often, so grains and details were lost ...
These children looked like angels in the whiteness of their skin, blue-white like marble statues, they were very thin and they never ate ice cream (!), a bun with tea ...
I want to tell the story not on my own behalf, not as an observer, but as someone who was not present ...
A thin and transparent girl with blue streaks of hands approached the boy - "Do you remember what we were told to endure, so you must ... otherwise."
- "But I really want a bun, I never ate it,
- "We all never ate it ....", - she takes the boy by the hand, squeezes it tightly and strokes his head, - "You must remember."
The smallest one runs up - "Will you give us ice cream? I have never eaten ice cream!"
- "We don't have ice cream ... There are buns, tea and salad. Choose what you want?"
- "Will you give tea from real porcelain cups?"
- "Yes, from porcelain with a saucer!"
- "Will the spoons be metal?"
- "Yes, and stainless steel spoons!"
- "Wonderful! I have never drunk tea from porcelain cups with porcelain saucers! I dreamed about it!"
The girl went up to him and took his little hand, the second he grabbed her child's skirt and hid his face.
Another boy came up - "Please give me tea, a piece of sugar and a pie."
- "We have different pies! With potatoes, jam, strawberry jam. Which one should I give you?"
He thought for a moment, remained silent and replied, "With jam ... No, with jam! Are they tasty?"
Girl: "Well, of course they are delicious and there can't be others!"
The children sat down at tables and chairs and for the first time drank tea from porcelain cups and ate cakes from porcelain saucers with stainless spoons. They sat quietly, like white and transparent ghosts with large heads and thin, narrow bodies, as if they were not there. They did not laugh or make noise, they were quiet, as quiet as old people are when they are very old.
The younger boy had a birthday today, and the older girl was fifteen years old, a woman who gratuitously put pies on plates and poured tea found out about this from her.
Everything is going for the good ... But for whose sake?
About the woman in the church
Once when I went to the temple, people were lighting candles, I was very young and didn’t know how to light a candle, so I watched those who did it and therefore I put the last candle, the woman who removed the carbon deposits from the candles and removed the small stubs, took off my long and a sharp candle almost immediately as I put it on, I pointed it out to her, I wanted the candle to burn out, she scolded me with those words that cannot be pronounced in church and this is considered a great sin.
What I have learned about others
New Year's gifts that were received by those who did not need them
For the New Year, rich people brought many gifts for families with many children and orphans. All gifts were first looked through by the priest and took the best for himself, including chocolates, lollipops, mink coats, things made from natural materials (leather, fur, etc.). He always chose the newest and the best, one for his wife, another for his daughter, then for his son and his family, everyone should bring gifts. Then the ministers of the church sorted out the gifts and chose them for their families, the watchman looked at everything last and chose for himself, all that was left after that could be received by large families and children without parents.
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